Going Back to School

Hey You,

Remember how we felt lost for so long? We felt like we did not fit in with this world and we felt like we were never going to figure out what we wanted. Here we are five whole years later and I finally figured it out! We are going back to school. Yes, you heard it right.

When I was 18, I started community college. At the time, I did not understand how college worked with credit hours and classes. It was alien language to me and even when the advisors would talk to me, it went through one ear and out the other. I felt like everything for my childhood life up into college was always moving so fast. As a young kid, I always hated answering the questions of "What do you want to be when you grow up?".  I hated it because how the hell would I know? I was only 12! After my first year in college, I started to slack off because I did not care about school or how fortunate I was to be able to go to school. I wanted to travel and play but at the same time, I still had to work. Soon enough, I quit going to classes and eventually, dropped out.

Over the years, I remember telling myself "okay, this time I am really going to go back to school." I would tell my aunt, my uncle, my cousin - whoever I could because it made me feel good about myself. Then I never went. I used to think it was money that was always the issue but it was not that. I had the money, I had the time. It was I who was not ready to go back to school. I felt like I was doing it for other people and not for myself.

I finally took the time to think about what I love doing and what I'm good at. I used to want to be an international business lawyer. I then switched my major to a simple business management degree. Somehow, I still felt I was never doing it for me. These were things I heard from the people around me and following that path, I thought would do me good since I was listening to older, wiser people who cared for me. I was wrong. It did nothing but discourage me constantly because even with a degree in that background, what would I use it for? Why waste my time in something that I am not interested in?

I decided I want to major in graphic design. I have always had a heart for fashion and beauty. My creative side was always in the works constantly. I was always on the move of learning the bigger, better way to improve on something- whether it would be the latest Instagram story post, editing a YouTube video, creating a restaurant menu, making a business card. These were things that interested me and that would catch my eye. You want to know the coolest part? Learning graphic design could open doorways into allowing me to create my own streetwear. The one thing I have always wanted to do since I was 16 years old.

This time around, I am not going to tell anyone of this path. I am just going to do it. Once I have fully registered for classes, then maybe I will tell my aunt or uncle about my plan. Often times, the moment I speak to soon about something, it usually never follows through. Going back to school gives me the power and strength that I need to feel good about myself. It gives me the sense that I am worth something to myself. Because I was lost for so long in the real world and my mental state, the action of going back to school gives my life purpose and reason to want to wake up every morning. It helps me- knowing that I am improving my life for the better.

Lately, all I have been doing is just working. Work work work. Six days a week, 12 hour shifts. I used to think money was everything but I soon realized it meant nothing rather than what we hold of it. Money is worth nothing until it is spent. If you have a lot of money, what good does it do if you can not enjoy spending it?

School registration opens March 13th. I woke up this morning to an email that my application has been accepted. It is time to make a change finally and better myself. I am excited to learn again. I am like a big kid at a candy store. Regardless of age, we will always be a kid at heart. Who we are as a person will always remain the same, our appearance just change as time changes. We age along with the rest of the world.

I am really excited about this journey I am on. I feel like I finally know what I want and where I want to go with my life. The one thing I have always wanted since I was ten years old was to become a YouTuber. As I got older, I felt like becoming a singer. With YouTube always being a platform for social media, it was a way to broadcast talent and whatever I wanted. With the help of Instagram, it made me realize that being a content creator and public figure was what I really wanted. Building a legacy to leave behind and help people in the process of doing it. It feels good to know that I inspire people.

Sincerely,

Me

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