My Life As It Is

Hey You, You ever have those bad mornings where you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, you feel cranky and annoyed, then it seems like nothing in the world is going correctly? I'm literally  having one of those days today. Where everyone and every little things seems to bother me. Where outside is a beautiful day yet, to me, it's too bright and sunny. Lately, I've been drowning in my own thoughts. It's always better and easier for me to seem positive and act as if everything is okay, when deep down it really isn't. I can be the person who you come to for life advice and motivation yet, I'm a hypocrite when it comes to my own words. I don't do as I say and I don't follow through. Did you know it's actually really hard for me to stay slim? I'd work out for a few weeks then end up right back where I started. I always seem to have an excuse for something as my negative thoughts start to cloud my judgment. I don't really eat healthy ...

Hey You, It's currently 5:53pm as I'm sitting in my little server station, behind our black curtain, patiently waiting for customers to come in. Today has been on the chilly side. Therefore, when it's cold out, not many sushi eaters stop by. If you aren't aware by now, I'm a server. Well, technically, I do almost everything here since it's my family's sushi restaurant. Does that surprise you that I'm a server? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Regardless, I'm not ashamed of who I am. I work for and with my family. Currently, it is now 3:46pm as I'm eating a spicy tuna, sitting, once again, in my little server station. Yesterday, as I was trying to write this blog, we had some customers who came in. Ever since then, we were busy all the way until 11pm at night. I meant to come back to write. However, the moment I got home and ate, I was pooped. Have you ever questioned your life? Like, actually think hard and why you were put here on this...

Hey You, Did you know, when someone says to "love yourself a little bit more" that it actually means to care more about your health and life? I saw a post the other day that said "fake it until you make it. You have to act, think, and feel as if you are already in the position you want to be in. Think about the things you would do if you were to be in that position, then do it". It was something along the lines of that. Love Yourself first.  Loving yourself actually means putting yourself before others. You have to love yourself enough to spend time and money on you . Often times, people are worried about hanging out with friends on the weekends, having to pay bills, or planning meet ups with family. With all these events, your hands are completely tied and your planner is overflowed- you have no time at all for you. Imagine if you had three friends over and you want to pour a drink for all of you. However, you only have three cups. You have to make a sacrifice ...

Hey You, Isn't it crazy how time flies by so fast? In the blink of an eye, six years have passed. When you're a kid, you think you have all the time in the world. You have a lot of free time to do as you feel and not have to worry about anything that will stress you out. When I was 18, I had just started college. I graduated in the year 2014, a year early, when I was 17. I had such an amazing plan that I thought I was going to follow through with. The initial plan was because I had graduated a year early, I was able to start college a year earlier than expected as well and get ahead of the game. I did the math and if I were to stay in school, I would have my Associate's Degree when I turned 22 years old- my birthday is in October so I turned 18 the year I graduated from high school. I wanted to do two years at a community college to save money, taking the basic classes that were needed. Then I would do another two years in Korea- where at the same time, I'd be teach...

Hey You, How is your morning today? I woke up late today- exhausted and could not get out of bed. I went to sleep at 1AM last night and was planning to wake up at either 5:30AM or 6:00AM. Obviously that did not happen. These blogs give me a sense of fun and purpose. The personal things I have to say, I like to right them into my journal. If I am too lazy to write, I would just type of a rant into my "notes" section of my phone. I never really understood school as a kid. Like, why did we have to go? Why did we have to drive in the white lines of the road? Why do we have to watch a colored light to tell us when to go and when to stop? As I am getting older, I am starting to understand everything a little bit better. I now know that it is all for order. The greatest thing about America is the fact that we have free public education that is provided by the government. We all have the freedom to do whatever we want, find what ever job we would like, and even sign up for heal...

Hey You, Remember how we felt lost for so long? We felt like we did not fit in with this world and we felt like we were never going to figure out what we wanted. Here we are five whole years later and I finally figured it out! We are going back to school. Yes, you heard it right. When I was 18, I started community college. At the time, I did not understand how college worked with credit hours and classes. It was alien language to me and even when the advisors would talk to me, it went through one ear and out the other. I felt like everything for my childhood life up into college was always moving so fast. As a young kid, I always hated answering the questions of "What do you want to be when you grow up?".  I hated it because how the hell  would I know? I was only 12! After my first year in college, I started to slack off because I did not care about school or how fortunate I was to be able to go to school. I wanted to travel and play but at the same time, I still had to w...

Hey you, Did you have a good day today? I sure hope you did because mine was hectic and stressful. People used to always tell me that serving made good money- and it is true, you do. Today I walked over 30,000 steps. If there is a moment right now for me to complain, here is what I am feeling: I am so tired. My legs ache and my feet hurt. I am tired and my back hurts. I am hungry, yet, it is 11:27pm currently. Therefore, here I am writing this as I am stuffing my face with leftover spicy edamame, salted potato chips, and a microwavable mac-n-cheese. So many things happened today; so much that I do not even want to think about to bring up anymore. We were slammed tonight- full house, short-staffed, late food, and upset customers. You know the saying, "You can't always please everyone."? Well it sure is damn true. I first started getting into the restaurant business when I was actually 17 years old. My first restaurant job was being a hostess at a sushi restaurant c...

Hey you, Have you ever wondered why life was so hard some times? Like, why this certain thing just had to happen right now  of all moments.You know, I always think everything happens for a reason. Loving yourself is one of the hardest things to do. Why? Because we are our own enemy. All along our journey in life, we listen to self-doubt and our own thoughts. What many of us do not realize is the fact that we are our own thoughts. We have the power to change our mind, our thinking, and our lives. When I was 12, I remember my aunt telling me "Rosanna, always remember to stay true to yourself. Love yourself and nurture your soul." Hmmm, but what did that really mean? I do love myself. I take care of how I look, I buy myself nice things... right? I was wrong. Loving yourself is a journey from within and it takes time to realize. There are many things you can do to love yourself such as working out, meditating, reading a book, etc. Often times in life, we get so caught up in...

Hey you, Where have you been? Wow, life has been so crazy huh? So much has changed lately now that we're older. I can't believe we came across this old blog. How funny. You wanted to start blogging when you were in high school then totally gave up on it. Better yet, forgot about it. We're much older now. It's no longer 2013; boy, does the time flies. Behind the greasy, black curtain here we are at 22 years of age in the year 2019. With our feet rested upon the gray, dusty shelf, we sit in a burnt orange, wooden chair with our back hunched down. What happened to our big dreams? Where's the fresh smell of Korea grazing across our rosy cheeks? Life hit us hard. Much harder than we would have ever imagined. As a student in a high school, we're taught to study hard and get good grades. Perhaps, we'll get the chance to go to a good college or better yet, earn a scholarship. Who knew after the age of 18 that being an adult, the only thing we've ever wante...